Brakedown-"the inner me to a special person"

The first break down was mains marks and the next in order is vit next srm now there is something very intersting which broke me down . I cannot belive my eyes now really it is so hard for me to take such a delinerate decision.  All the palcid moments the bathetic ones too we shared were just mere fun , everything is facade , nothing was true , knowing that i couldn't talk to her as socially as i did earlier . I thought her frndship was true and spotless. That was my "horns and halos "on her . I think i should maintain some distance it will ddfinitley help , untill the college ends i need to maintain frndly equation with everyone . She is not at all special to me , like evryone else ! What i feel about frndship is , it is the only true realtion in the whole galxy, no hiding from frnds , something said to a best frnd can never cause hostility in the realtion. Ironically that hostility was proved by her in a brandish , much probably in a cozen dimension, which i never thought she would tend into. Iam the suffere , iam the one who is in great displeasure , she is fine , because she nevr imagined me as her frnd . I supported her in every ralillery and defended in almost all banters , but i couldn't remmeber she supporting me in atleast one of them. I was foolish she was boorish . That was the fact, i thought she is the only one in the world who could understand me better , instead she lead me into a dark way , from which no one can rehabliate me or even i could restore myself  back . Decveing a best frnd that is what she had done ? I never decived anyone , i was true and transperent to my part concerned . She was the traitor. I donnot know how to express my grief , it is like mad person writting something mad but as of now i am half way in becoming mad .
          When i think of the sweetest memories , with her the blithe , humor , her laugh is evrything a plot against me ? Really it may not be stragem to overtake me , something might have been ingenuos . At one point of time i think if i presummed her in a wrong way , i cross checked myself four times Still my heart for some reason not accepting her . I now understood that if a small blemish can destroy the frndship of ages then that was not at all a frndship , because two things if she was my real frnd i woudn't have felt so awkward nor she might have deceived me so deliberately . If both happened that was not frndship , i could say , a false perception of mine was feeling her a soul frnd. Alright waht had happened in the past cannot be in present day headspace which was already preoccupied by many really important stuff.
        I feel this was my , one of my bitter experinces , and pass on. Finally waht i can do is staying away from her , and hoping not to meet her in the future in any whoch way possible . Once k leave my college and enter into new session of my life these banters would never mean at all. Hoping for good and robust future and also praying god not to provide with this type of defiances anymore , iam fed up . Once going through thsi bathetic moment was enough for me , i cannot sustain anymore of them . Signing off  with this so called "breakdown ", it was really , trust me !